It’s only perfectly natural for people to want to experiment with different things and expand their horizons. Everyone wants to be just a little bit better and appealing tomorrow than they are today. They might seek this betterment through something tiny, like a half-hour increase in studying time, or tidying up their room and resolving to keep it that way. They might seek it through taking up cooking lessons or making a new friend, or cutting out someone who doesn’t care. But then, there are those people who seek it through the most extraordinary measures.

They might not even know that they are, in fact, seeking betterment, fulfilment and expansion of their horizons. They might simply see it as an addition to their routine, but in the course of events, their life changes by some degree. They might do something daring, like, perhaps, jumping over the neighbour’s wall, or playing a prank on a shopkeeper. But there are those people who might also, after a particularly exciting conversation with their siblings, decide to do something no one else would normally do on a normal Sunday afternoon. They might, after some marvelling at the height of their high kick, lie on their bed listening to music for a little while longer than usual.

And while the addictive tones of Metallica draw them in, they might, quite spontaneously, decide to see if their high kick can go even higher, or even, just maybe, transform into one of those flying kicks Jackie Chan movies sometimes feature. They might just get up, out of bed and, while continuing a conversation with their sister, jump and kick and do it, because they truly believe it is not impossible. But allow me to bestow upon you one small word of advice, dear reader: do not become one of those people. “Why not? They seem so cool”, you ask? Well, if you stuck around to watch their little experiment, you would realise soon that, despite what they think, they cannot perform a flying kick without practice, and certainly, absolutely, most definitely not on vitrified tiles. You would watch as, in the span of a split second, the daring person lands on the floor with their coccyx taking the brunt of the fall.

And then you would watch sympathetically as they lie flat beside their bed, staring at the ceiling fan, and gradually attempting to move their lower limbs, suspecting permanent paralysis, and uttering phrases similar to “I think I might be dying”; and then, you would watch as, a whole five minutes later, they manage to crawl pathetically back onto the bed and lie there in silence, Metallica tuned out. And not an hour after their failed experiment, before or after a diagnosis of a very possible hairline fracture, you would end up having to listen to them ranting about how “it was so epic, it was my near death experience, dude! I should try it on concrete next time though”, all the while letting sounds of pain escape their lips as they try to find a non-existent comfortable position. So, just don’t become one of those freaks. The world is better off without any more of them.

[Based on a true story. Ahem.]

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