I’m having an off day-
you know the kind-

the kind when you stare into distances
thinking about staring into distances,
a familiar lump crawling into your throat,
scratching at your voice
putting those words where they belong.

I’m having a bad day-
when the rain soaking your clothes
seems to be freezing your bones,
when your feet can’t seem to find purchase
but you drift along all the same.

I’m having a numb day
when air turns to vacuum and whips back again,
when thought turns to memory-
The aching, slow, forbidden kind-
And eyes are heavy on you
while you stare into the blank.

Nothingness is too big a word for the empty and
nothingness is too little a word for the completeness of the poison.

I’m having a bad day-
If only someone knew the kind.